Unsheathing Empowerment - a 3 of swords Journey

I still remember New years eve, anticipation filled the air amidst the festivities. Excited to slip away from my family for a minute so I could sit in the quiet ritual space of pulling my New years eve cards for the months that lay ahead in 2023.

My pull finished with the Three of Swords in December, the instant visceral cringe rippling through my body.

My least favourite card and I'd say possibly most people's least favourite?

Swords... ugh the work...

Throughout the year, I attempted to dismiss the ominous message of the card, reluctant to finish the year on a low note.

Who wants to go out like that?

Give me the Ten of Cups and a good new years party.

As November crept around I noticed my card I was working with was Two of Swords but I couldn't figure out what it was I wasn't seeing, or feeling, what was the crossroad? What was I blocking myself from?

After attending a tarot mentoring circle of Tania Yorgey's I soon realised my Two of Swords was actually about my Three of Swords.

I subconsciously wanted to block out the risk of acknowledging any potential pain that was there for processing. A niggling awareness I had been pushing into the corners of my mind.

It wasn't a mere blockage; it was a protective stance shielding me from acknowledging what was wanting to be recognised.

The revelation struck a chord — I needed to feel the pain to transcend it.

What wasn't I seeing?

What wasn't I feeling?

How could I become liberated if I didn't embody my lessons?

The Two of Swords like a veil covering my eyes and protecting my heart.

As I unravelled the layers of the Two of Swords' blockage, I began to see the connection between its protective stance and the work that was waiting in the Three of Swords. The delicate dance between doing the work and self protection.

Acknowledging the interplay between these two cards was a crucial step in the journey of my grief work.

This year, I found myself in a rescuer role, hoping that by sticking around someone would find their path. In time it became burdensome, my boundaries slipping away. I questioned why I couldn't regain control, why stepping back felt elusive.

Whose permission was I waiting for to break free from this dynamic? It wasn't until I extricated myself that I saw parallels, I had “supported” a family member years ago. I spent a long time hoping that by persisting, doing better, trying harder, things would eventually improve — a quest to prove I could be enough. I think deep down I was waiting for someone else's, anyone else's permission to stop trying to rescue them.

Reflecting on my past, I pondered what might have happened if I had walked away sooner for my well-being, acknowledging that I alone couldn't be enough for one person requiring the support of an entire community.

I swore I'd never get entangled in that dynamic again, but here I was, similar scenario, different meat suit, highlighting I still had work to do. To move beyond my trigger, I needed to acknowledge and process my grief. I had to re-establish the boundaries that I vowed would never be crossed again.

The Two of Swords revealed the path I was on and how I was blocking potential crossroads. The Three of Swords emphasised that feeling pain was crucial for personal growth.

Facing initial discomfort, the Three of Swords urged me to recognise the potential for liberation, transitioning from victimhood to empowerment.

I acknowledged that I played the role of my own perpetrator within the Three of Swords by sticking around far too long in this interaction. Once aware of falling into old rescuing patterns, I had to explore how I could begin removing the swords from my own heart.

Ignoring our pain leaves us sitting with the status quo, which, in this case, wasn't just unhelpful for me but extended to my family and anyone witnessing my struggle to avoid re-entering the toxic cycle.

As I navigate this journey, I remember that the tarot serves as a mirror, reflecting not only the external forces at play but also the internal landscapes waiting to be explored and understood.

Lesson learned … feel it, embody it, and you just may avoid the return of that cycle.

Here's to moving into 2024 with a lighter, more aligned load.

by Rachel Penn

www.healingpenn.com
@healingpenn - Instagram

Rachel is located in the greater Geelong region, Victoria and works as a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Transpersonal Art Therapist, Somatic Touch Therapist incorporating Integral Somatic Psychology, ACT, QiGong, ritual and energy work. Rachel has specialized in addiction since 2013, and provided support to thousands of clients now with a wide range of trauma informed services.

Rachel works creatively, somatically and mindfully with clients to complete patterns, break cycles, make meaning, build resources, expand resiliency, widen your community supports and connections, become more embodied and open to pleasure.

Copyright - Sacred 8 Tarot Deck - by Roz Tilley